So NOT Cool!

Okay so get this: last night after our game (which I think me may have lost? – I don't know, I was too busy looking for my pigeon friends any not really paying attention to the "action" on the field…whatever) I went over to Kyle Orton's locker to see what his plans were and he was like, "oh, uh, my mom is sick, so I am just going to go see her tonight". I thought that was very nice of him, but kinda gay; so I asked Brian "I was born in the 1970's" Griese what he was up to (cause us gunslingers have to stick together) and he said, "uh, well, umm, I have to drive Kyle to his mom's house cause it's her birthday or something. No, wait, I mean, she is sick."

So I was a bit suspicious, but then I started thinking about the pigeons on the field last week and why they weren't at this game. The next thing I realized, I was the only person left in the locker room and all the lights were turned off (this happens a lot!). So I used the light from my cell phone to find my clothes, got dressed and just went home. I was going to go out, but the movie Beaches was on the USA network and I had some popcorn left, so that sealed the deal right there!

Well, a few hours ago I called Kyle to see how his mom was feeling, and he was so totally hungover! I disguised my voice to sound like Darth Vader and asked him what he did last night. He told me that he and Brian went out downtown and got smashed! WTF!?! Then he said, "Dude, we totally told Rex that my mom was sick and he bought it! That guy is so lame. Whenever we go out he keeps throwing his car keys to the wrong valet attendant, he drops drinks all over the place, and he's a crappy wing-man, he creeps all the chicks out with his constant pigeon conversations. Hey…who is this by the way?"

I was so mad at him! So I told him it was "Peapod" calling and that his groceries would be delivered in a little bit. I bet he has been waiting all day for his groceries and they're never going to come, LOL! Oh, and for the record, I only throw my keys to the wrong valet attendants like 2 or 3 times a night, and I keep dropping beers cause the bartenders hand them to me wrong!

Anyway, I have to think of something to do to get back at Brian too (its gonna be hard to top my "Peapod" idea though). Maybe I'll call his mom and tell her that Brian died of old age; or maybe I'll take his car and crash it on the Edens Expressway (like I did to get even with Lance Briggs after he tied my shoelaces together in practice one day). Anyway, I have to go, the Gummy Bears cartoon is on and I don't have this episode on Tivo.

You are my sunshine,

Rex.