Passer ratting passer rating, that’s all the press wants to talk about when my name comes up. Do any of these “reporters” bother to do any research? We all know that Captain-Licks-A-Lot is the greatest quarterback in the history of the game (yeah right). He is so wonderfully awesome that is you spell Manning is scrabble you win forever.
Anyways, all it takes is a little bit of researching to see that he is only good when he plays indoors in a nice comfortable air conditioned stadium. Did you know that they heat the stadium in Indianapolis with dead babies?
Well, I have some finger licking good news for you Payton, your passer rating outside (where god intended football to be played), isn’t all that inspiring. If any of these “reporters” would do their homework they would notice some interesting numbers. I know you think you are hot stuff because you have a passer rating of 101 this season but Miami is an outdoor stadium and you can’t play outside. And guess what, the weather reports predict that temps could be in the 50s at game time. What’s even cooler is that there is a 50% chance of rain and thunderstorms the entire day. Unfortunately for you, Prince might have to switch to a thicker warmer blouse.
Captain Licks-A-Lot, your passer rating when you play outside is actually 23.4 points lower when you play outdoors!!!!!!! That is amazingly pathetic. How come no one is asking you why you can’t play outdoors? Or asking, which Payton is going to show up, the outdoor or indoor Payton? I know you will say to your lazy brother Cooper, that all QBs in the NFL have lower passer ratings when they play outside.
GUESS WHAT, WRONG WONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!! You and your cripple brother are both wrong. My passer rating this year is actually better when I play outside, probably because my parents loved me. When I play outdoors my passer rating is actually 17.9 points higher!!!!! This is why I am the greatest Bears QB ever and you are only good during the regular season when you play inside a dome.
Outdoors
Rex: 17.9 points higher
Licks-A-Lot: 23.4 points lower
You do the math
XOXOXO,
Rex
2 comments:
OMFG you are the funniest blogger ever! WTF happened to our Bears tonight though?
Did you see that Budweiser commercial w/ the crabs? Reminded me of college for more reasons than you want to know.
Keeps it real. I like to make sexy time with you.
Hehe - How did Peyton play outside last night???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!
and how did your precious bears play outside last night????
tripped, slipped, dropped, flopped, picked, sucked, and lost. maybe you should re-write your blog to reflect reality
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