Sunday we play outside

Passer ratting passer rating, that’s all the press wants to talk about when my name comes up. Do any of these “reporters” bother to do any research? We all know that Captain-Licks-A-Lot is the greatest quarterback in the history of the game (yeah right). He is so wonderfully awesome that is you spell Manning is scrabble you win forever.

Anyways, all it takes is a little bit of researching to see that he is only good when he plays indoors in a nice comfortable air conditioned stadium. Did you know that they heat the stadium in Indianapolis with dead babies?

Well, I have some finger licking good news for you Payton, your passer rating outside (where god intended football to be played), isn’t all that inspiring. If any of these “reporters” would do their homework they would notice some interesting numbers. I know you think you are hot stuff because you have a passer rating of 101 this season but Miami is an outdoor stadium and you can’t play outside. And guess what, the weather reports predict that temps could be in the 50s at game time. What’s even cooler is that there is a 50% chance of rain and thunderstorms the entire day. Unfortunately for you, Prince might have to switch to a thicker warmer blouse.

Captain Licks-A-Lot, your passer rating when you play outside is actually 23.4 points lower when you play outdoors!!!!!!! That is amazingly pathetic. How come no one is asking you why you can’t play outdoors? Or asking, which Payton is going to show up, the outdoor or indoor Payton? I know you will say to your lazy brother Cooper, that all QBs in the NFL have lower passer ratings when they play outside.

GUESS WHAT, WRONG WONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!! You and your cripple brother are both wrong. My passer rating this year is actually better when I play outside, probably because my parents loved me. When I play outdoors my passer rating is actually 17.9 points higher!!!!! This is why I am the greatest Bears QB ever and you are only good during the regular season when you play inside a dome.

Outdoors
Rex: 17.9 points higher
Licks-A-Lot: 23.4 points lower

You do the math

XOXOXO,
Rex

Just For Amanda

Amanda,
Have you ever heard of Tank Johnson? Well, he is suppose to be in jail, but just like Chuck Norris the Feds can't keep him locked up. Anyways, here is an artists rendition of Captain Licks-A-Lot getting destroyed by Tank and his fav buddy Adewale Ogunleye (big hitter the Lama).

p.s. Amanda = Connie

Eat Me Connie....whatever

Last Saturday a woman by the name of “Connie” left a comment asking for an apology to this post and here is what she said:

Connie said...
That was a very rude comment to say about Cooper Manning. It is due to a
medical condition that he isn't playing on a football team today. This is a
known fact! I think you owe him & his family an apoligy! Why the cheap shot?
It's just as easy to be nice as it is dirty.

Well I think Cooper Manning is LAZY and UGLY and I have a passer rating higher than him so he can eat me. In fact his whole family can eat me and so can all Colts and Giants fans. He made up this imaginary “medical problem” just because he sucked at football so much. He is too afraid to show his family that he is washed up like his brother Payton who couldn’t find his way out of a wet paper bag.

Oh and BTW Connie, there is no “I” in team or in APOLOGY! LOL LOOSER!!!!!!

p.s. Eat me Connie