Tears and Fears

What is that a picture of? Why its a "Pro-Bowl" QB blowing his entire team's season because he can't take a snap. Yeah everyone likes to criticize me because I have trouble holding onto snaps from Olen, but this guys went to the "Pro-Bowl." What kind of QB cries after a mistake. I am the most scrutinized QB in professional football today, millions of fans hate me and do you see me shedding a tear. No, I go about my business and do my job like a professional. Never have I cried on the field, Romo is a pansy. He is going to get destroyed like a Kennedy's liver on Christmas. Urlacher and Briggs are gonna bring a big plate of hurt to Captain Kleenex unlike anything he has seen before. Last season during Romo's "pro bowl" season he was ranked 32nd in the league in yards/game (I was 21st). The point is he is an overrated crybaby looser that is not a pro bowl QB and our defense is going to put him in his place. Goodnight Tony.

Pigeon

I kept noticing pigeons on the field yesterday during the kansas city game. At first there was a family of pigeons. A mom, dad and two kid pigeons. I know that it was a mom and dad cause they kept telling their children pigeons where to go. I think they must have been looking for food or maybe a place to sleep. Maybe they thought these was a rain storm coming and they wanted to look for a house to live in so they didn't get wet. Then they decided to go somewhere else, but I am not sure where. Then two other pigeons landed on the 30 yard line. I think they must have been on a date because there was one boy and one girl. They kept flying around and chasing each other. I wonder if it was a first date? I talked to my friend Dawn this week and she said a bird pooped on her Friday night. That is really funny.

Mike Brown, my father never liked you.

Dear Mike,

You are a useless waste of a professional football player and crying in the locker room in front of everyone because you hurt your knee is no way to act like a man. You should just quit the team and move back to Arizona where you can train dogs to fight each other. I hear they have a dry heat hopefully that will dry your tears when you stop crying.

You missed:
14 games in 2004
4 games in 2005
10 games in 2006
15 games in 2007

I know homeless people that go to work more often than you. Do yourself, your team and your family a favor and quietly retire from football.

Love,
Wrecks

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111

The coolest thing just happened this past week. We have another awesome QB trying out for the team. He is a former, and National Champion, Florida Gator (this is me totally doing the "gator chomp" in the air right now). CHRIS LEAK IS TRYING OUT FOR THE TEAM!!!!

The more great Florida Gator QBs we have on this team the better. Kyle is getting a little nervous since he thinks he will not have me as a drinking buddy anymore, but Kyle is so totally awesome he will love hanging out with Chris.

Ok buddies, I have to run to practice and make sure Chris makes the team!

Thanks

Dear Bloomington, IN, Gator Nation, and Steve Bartman,

Thanks for your support of my play all year. I might have been a little caught up in all of the distractions down in Miami, the rain, and counting to $1,000,000 to play a good game. But I promise that I will use this bonus to buy gifts and candy for all of you.

-Rex

reader comment

An anonymous poster posted this comment today:

Hehe - How did Peyton play outside last night???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

and how did your precious bears play outside last night????

tripped, slipped, dropped, flopped, picked, sucked, and lost. maybe you should re-write your blog to reflect reality

Ok Mr. Anonymous lets talk reality!!!!! Payton Manning’s season average passer rating when he is playing indoors is 112.0. Last night his passer rating was 81.8, which is far from “Grrrrrrrrrrreat!” In fact, last week I predicted that Manning’s rating yesterday would be 23.4 points lower than his average Looks like my prediction was close but he was actually worse last night than I thought.

Now let’s look at pass completions. This is absolutely hysterical because my pass completion percentage was actually higher than Manning’s!!!!! Maybe because I don’t lick my fingers as much as he does. I was 20 for 28 (71%), while Manning was 25 for 38 (66%) in between licking his hands.

So why on earth did he get the MVP last night? I threw 2 TD passes (unfortunately one for the Colts) and he only threw one. I was the giving the Colts excellent field position by dropping several snaps from a pro bowl center. So why did he get the MVP….. Because the Roger Goodell and Archie Manning are having a homosexual affair and this forces NFL to gush about all things Manning. They even love Cooper Manning who is a lazy cripple.

Steve

The Super Bowl wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be, but I met this really cool guy Steve!!! Steve and I pretty much hung out the entire time, we went shopping, out to dinner, and he even showed me his totally awesome apartment. We seemed to talk about everything. He use to live in Chicago but moved down to Florida a couple of years ago. He says he misses Chicago but can’t go back for some reason. Steve said that I could move in with him if I wanted and I am thinking about. He has a really great futon that I could sleep on. I really like Florida, maybe I will stay here and move in with Steve. We can be BFFs!