Pick Me, Pick Me!!!

So I just picked up a newspaper today for the first time in a few weeks, and found out I am one of three nominees for the FedEx Air Player of the Week since I played so super awesomely last Sunday. The other two nominees are J.P. Losman, who I have never heard of (I think they just made that name up or something), and Peyton Manning, who I don't think should win since his sister Connie keeps emailing me to yell at me about her lazy brother Cooper, whatever.

Anyways, the paper said I set career highs in completions, attempts and yards, completing 29 of 44 passes for 339 yards. Also, I threw for two touchdowns had a passer rating of 104.3. Now, I have no idea what any of that means, but I think if I win then I get free FedEx stuff, like free bubble-wrap! How sweet is that?!? They will probably give me a whole roll of bubble-wrap, then I can wrap myself in it and when I fall down my stairs it won't hurt anymore. Plus, I can pop as much of it as I want and not have to cry when it runs out, cause it won’t run out. Maybe I'll wrap my head in it and use it as a helmet on Sunday, which just happens to be Christmas Eve. I think Santa should come to the game and give me the bubble-wrap, that would be cool. I could pet his reindeer, Rudolph has the glowing nose you know. And I could get to ride in his sleigh and have all the presents to myself. I would make my Christmas wish be that Tank Johnson not go to jail, and that the person who shot his friend have to die in hell. I miss Tank, and his sweet, sweet cookies.

Okay, well I have to go and vote for the FedEx Air Player of the Week (http://www.nfl.com/partners/fedex) and finish my chocolate milk before it gets warm.

Byeeee,

Rex

So I just found out that my friend, and defensive tackle, Tank Johnson was charged yesterday with six counts of possession of a firearm without a gun owner identification card after police found six guns in his house. Well, I think if the government calls you "Tank" then your supposed to have a gun, right? In the army, all of their tanks have guns, and I don’t think they even know how to play football! Anyway, I think the police should just let him go. I mean, how much trouble can one person do with a gun? Plus, he is really nice, and makes the best peanut butter cookies I have ever had, seriously. That is probably why he carries a gun, because so many people probably try to steal his peanut butter cookie recipe. Do you think they could make a gun that shoots peanut butter cookies? That would be a great gift for Tank, cause then he could shoot all the people that try to steal his peanut butter cookie recipe, and they will have cookies, and they will not bother Tank anymore. Do you know, that in England they call cookies crackers? What do you think they call crackers then? Oh, by the way, I talked to some of the guys and they said that if we win the superbowl that we can't do a dance to Clay Aiken's song "Invisible", but I haven't shown them the dance routine I made up (I know, I made it up really fast, but its really good). Once they see it they will be like, "oh wow, that is super cool!" and then we'll do it, together. Alright, I have to go, my hot pocket is ready! Hot pockets are the best dinner EVER!

Stay warm,

Rex

NFL hates old people

You probably have heard about the NFL take a player to school program. Well I got this email from Kyle Orton who got it from a fan that was trying to bring Kyle to his school. Everyone knows that Kyle loves to drink and sometimes he throws up in my driveway, but this email is disturbing because they turned this fan down because of his age. Don’t they know you are NOT suppose to discriminate against people’s age?!?!?!? Anyways here is the pathetic response from the NFL:

Dear Mr. Brash Thank you for your interest and participation in the NFL's "Take
a player to School" sweepstakes. We regret to inform you that you and your
request have been deemed ineligible. The contest is reserved for children 6-13
who have an interest in bringing their favorite NFL player to their school. Your
request to have Kyle Orton of the Chicago Bears come to the University of
Illinois to, in your words: "Drink a ton of beer and get completely obliterated"
has been denied. Due to the nature of your request we have ruled that you are
older than the stated age limit and that your specific request is against all
the moral values for which the NFL stands. Thank you for your interest and we
hope you continue to support the NFL and your community.
Sincerely,
NFL
Properties LLC and Marden-Kane Inc.

I think the NFL hates old people!

WOW!!!!!11111111

Ok WOW! That game was AWESOME!!! I think I owe it all to my old coach from freshman year at Florida. You know Coach Spurrier. So I got a call from him both before the game and at halftime. Before the game he told me that he also was pretty sucky in the NFL and that I shouldn't worry about it too much. He told me to have fun and pretend that I was back at Florida in the sun. He said that even though it is cold in the Midwest that the dome in St. Louis (I think that is German) is warm like Florida. I was so happy to hear from him that I got choked up. Well Kyle and I are going to see if they can open up the observation deck in the arch (I totally found out you can ride up that). I am the most excited I have ever been!!!!!!!!!!!!

Halftime - 7,208% better

We are winning by one point and I haven't thrown a single interception. YAY!!!

My passer rating is 7,208% better today than it was last week.

Coach Smith is talking about getting more points or something right now (blah blah blah). I think I forgot to tell you that I got the new special edition pirates of the Caribbean dvd. It is totally awesome and Johnny Depp is the coolest pirate EVER!!! even better than that guy in Dodgeball (sweet movie).

Ok Coach smith says I have to go. see you guys later.

bye
Rex

Gmae Time

Hey everyone I am so excited for the game tonight. I know I am going to do well if I follow my three steps. I have to run off to the field but I promise to give everyone a half time report so make sure to check back here right after halftime and I will update you with what is going on.

Toodles,
Rex

Santa came early!

Oh snap, I almost forgot! This morning when I woke up, there was an early present under the mini-Christmas tree in my hotel room (I always bring a mini-tree with me to the hotels I stay in around this time of year so Santa knows where to put my presents if I am not at home). I am super pumped to wear it tonight vs. the Rams. I think it will give me super quarterback powers like "punky QB" Jim McMahon (he won a Superbowl). If we win the Superbowl I hope we get to do a dance, but not the Superbowl Shuffle, maybe a dance to "Invisible" by my idol, Clay Aiken, that song always makes ME want to dance!